Chinese New Year: part one

It was a normal Thursday night in the Packer Pies household. After a hearty meal of broccoli, pea and pesto soup accompanied by some crusty three-grain bread, P and P were enjoying an episode of The West Wing. But lo, something was out of place. Pies had a stack of crisp, new, twenty-dollar notes to his left and was busy putting one of each such note into some red card envelopes and into some gold card envelopes. Now I know what you're thinking... all this chat about a new job at UBS was just a ruse. Pies has actually been drawn into the HK underworld and this is his novel way of laundering his new 'earnings'...

Well let me put your mind at rest. On occasions such as weddings, or in this case, the Chinese New Year, it is traditional to give lai see (紅包), meaning red packet/red envelope in Cantonese. Once they contain your monetary amount of choice, avoiding the number four, e.g. $40, $400, as in Cantonese, the word for four sounds like the word for death, and making sure your total is an even number not odd, as odd numbers are associated with funerals, you give them to people who are considered 'junior' to, or 'smaller' than you. For example, the concierge at an apartment building; a waiter at an oft-visited restaurant; a subordinate in your team; parents to children; and hilariously, married couples to single people. ("Hey! Don't feel upset that you're spending Chinese New Year all on your own, while we'll be all cosy in our smug-marriedness - here's some cash! Enjoy!") To prove you were thinking of your recipient beforehand, you're supposed to queue up at the bank to get some crispy new notes, otherwise it looks like an afterthought if you give crusty old ones (apparently).

Crafty UBS made it easy for their employees to appear 'thoughtful' and pander to their lazy streaks, by offering a 'you pay us with a cheque, we'll get hold of a pile of new notes for you' service. Right up Pies's street.

I think the custom has now expanded to include gold envelopes as, along with red, it is a colour of good luck and prosperity, and both bestower and recipient benefit from the presenting of said envelopes in the year to come. Oddly, it's not known exactly where the red envelope-giving comes from. Before the Republic of China was formed in 1911, in the Qing Dynasty years, old folks would thread coins together with red string, believing it protected them from sickness and death by warding off evil spirits. With the coming of the republic, printing presses were more abundant and so red envelopes replaced the coins on string.

So there you have part one of my everything you need to know about the Chinese New Year guide. It'll cost you!

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Monkey on a Goat on a Cup on a Tightrope

I was so proud of myself for managing to write a blog every day this week so far (not overly shabby blogs either, I thought), but you know what they say. Pride comes before a fall (and now I've resorted to cliches - dammit!) I have spent the majority of today with my friend Emma and her 6-month-old Eloise, and I'm knackered! I know, I know - I wasn't even looking after her on my own, and millions of mothers do that every day. But I'm still knackered! Too much fresh air, I reckon.

Anyways, all that's essentially to say, it's half past eight here in Honkers, and in the absence of any creativity being squeezed out of my brain today, but not wanting to mar my achievement thus far by not posting a blog at all today, I'm sharing this little clip with you, as I think it's pretty cool. More wise words from me tomorrow, I promise chaps.

Thanks to Dave Elliott who shared this with us when he was visiting a week or so ago.

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You don't have to be mad to work here, but it helps

Just a short one today chaps, as I fear the world's media has done more than enough salivating about, fawning over, and generally 'bigging up' (to show you how 'down with the kids' I am) President Barack Obama, so I'm certain you don't need to hear it all from me. Please! We're British, we don't do all this overt and public displays of adoration stuff.

Much as I'm pleased for him (and I'm sure he's pleased that I'm pleased) for already making history by becoming the first black president of the USA, it's also the feeling of hope with an edge of realism that he's inspiring in people that seems to be doing some good, even before he took the oath. The fact that he won the election fair and square, was blatantly the best candidate for the job (despite only having made it as far as 'Senator' and not having a massive amount of experience, he still stood out a mile) and seems to have some amount of savvy about him can only stand him in good stead. I also like the way he's not parading in like he's just scored the winning touchdown at the Superbowl (see, I can even do international sporting metaphors) and promising to be the saviour of the world. (Though I'm sure some dopey Americans think he will be.)

Sensible chap that our man Barack is, he's attempting to start as he means to go on: planning to do good things, but warning people that the route to getting them done (they love that phrase on The West Wing, so it must be used in the White House) might not be a swift and easy one. My only hope at this point, is that people give him time to get settled into the job and that those pesky Republicans (especially those at Fox News) don't judge him too quickly. And as I mentioned two days ago, he's got to find time to fit in those global dance lessons. Might drop him a line about that actually. Do you think it's barack.obama@thewhitehouse.org?

In any case, if it all goes wrong early on, as one comedian put it the other day, he can just say, "it's not my fault; it was like this when I got here!"

PS even if you have no interest whatsoever in the inauguration, Barack Obama or the USA, I just know you're dying to find out what they had for lunch yesterday. Well, now you can. Pippa - if you haven't finalised your menu for the next 'Come Dine with Me' dinner, they've even included the recipes! Result!

PPS having just watched the inauguration speech in full just in case there were any gems that needed to be shared (see how good I am to you??), my favourite part was about three minutes in when some old duffer, clutching his camera, inched his way down the steps behind Obama, one at a time like you do when you're old. Just as he reached the bottom, he gave the TV camera a furtive glance, as if to say, "wonder if anybody noticed me" - don't worry old dude, I'm sure no-one was tuned in to this random guy's speech... (For some reason, this incident wasn't an option on The Times Online's 'What was your favourite part of President Obama's speech?' poll. Rubbish.)

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Dragged, kicking and screaming, into the 21st century

Remember the olden days? Things were so simple when you returned from your holiday. Once you'd checked that the pipes hadn't burst, realised that the nauseating stench wasn't, in fact, the decomposing body of the cat, but the two-and-a-half-week old bottle of milk you'd left in the fridge, and consequently concluded that batty old Mrs Evans who was supposed to have been feeding Tiddles truly has lost her sense of smell, the next priority was to dig out your roll of film and put it by the front door so you could pop it into SupaSnaps first thing in the morning.

It was one of the most important parts of the 'readjusting-back-to-normal-life' process - rushing back to the shop, eagerly clutching the slip in your hand, not knowing whether that one on the beach at sunset was a bit too underexposed, or whether the curse of the red eye had struck poor 'Darren' again in the bar where he just _had_ to get on the floor to join the other drunken idiots in the 'Oops Upside Your Head' dance. (Click on the link if you don't have a clue what I'm on about.) There was anticipation, suspense, excitement, even a possible raised-eyebrows-while-tilting-head-down look of reproach from the sales assistant as she hands back your photos, as if to say, "I see what you've been taking photos of and I am not amused." And yes, there was also annoyance and a snippet of disappointment if you discovered only two pictures had come out well and you'd just forked over £6.99 to get them developed within the hour. But it was fun! And most importantly, there was only one (or two if you were one of those extravagant types) pack of photos to show everyone - 36 pictures at most. Done.

Thenceforth, the digital age arrived. (Do I sound like I'm 75 yet??!) With it, came cheaper and cheaper digital cameras with simple-to-use functions - no messing around, thank you very much. Gone was the need to remember to buy film before you left to avoid paying 'a bloody fortune' when you get there (though even digital cameras require you to find the charger, eh Mum & Dad?!) and no longer would you have to obsessively check the picture counter to make sure you had enough left for the sunset cruise to Playa de las Americas on your last night.

And that, is my major point today. (Phew - you weren't entirely sure I'd get there, were you?) All of this new-fangled stuff enables, nay, encourages us all to turn into Japanese tourists with the snappiest of snap-happy attitudes. If you can delete all the dodgy pics, either at the time or at a later date, then why not just take as many as the battery and your subject's (be it human) patience allows?

Don't get me wrong here. I'm as guilty as the next person for getting a twitchy shutter-release finger (think that's the technical term, Dad?) But unquestionably, the overriding problem with having a mountain of snaps, is that at some point, you're going to have to sort the good from the 'good-lord-what-on-earth-possessed-me-to-photograph-that'.

I guess you could call this a pretty lameass apology/explanation for why there's not been too many self-taken photos on this blog, but it's also a pledge to get better! So, starting today, we have some pics of our apartment when we'd literally just moved in (before you start worrying that we're too poor for furniture and start sending food parcels.) Apologies to everyone that's been to visit already, you will have seen it first-hand, but it seemed as good a place as any to start. Brothers one and two of the Pies family are visiting next week with their lovely ladies, so when I've tidied up sufficiently, I'll take some more snaps of what the place looks like now.

Other Hong Kong photos to follow once I've steeled myself for the big sort-through!

The view from the living room and main bedroom:

One end of the living room (which is choc-full of stuff now):

The teeny tiny kitchen:

The bathroom:

The main bedroom:

The second 'bedroom'(with our clothes on towels on the floor due to the lack of wardrobe/chests of drawers!):

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It's been a while since we talked about American politics

I'm aware it's Monday chaps, which usually means a return to serious matters but there's an article on The Times's website today to which I thought a small amount of homage should be paid, considering today is the last full day that George W. Bush is officially the most powerful man in the world.

It's also, apparently, "Blue Monday" today (in the UK at least anyway): that is, the most depressing day of the year - complete with mathematical formula whipped up by psychologist Dr Cliff Arnall. If you're not overly familiar with the phrase, it's supposedly something along the lines of: rubbish weather + credit card bill showing how you overspent at Christmas + already-broken New Year's resolutions + general anxiety about money and job security = a miserable day. This is presumably why they're expecting 25% of people to call in sick!

Well I say, screw that. Let's have a little chuckle at the malapropisms of good old Dubya and be happy that the eejit is finally getting packed up and shipped out of his kushti little number as Commander-in-Chief. (Yes, I do admit to unashamedly stealing these quotes from other websites that are having similar field days, but hope that you'll forgive me when you are mildly amused by them.)

✐ The main problem with the French is they have no word for entrepreneur

✐ One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures

✐ There's an old saying in Tennessee - I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee - that says, fool me once, shame on -- shame on you. Fool me -- you can't get fooled again

✐ My job is a decision-making job, and as a result, I make a lot of decisions

✐ We're concerned about AIDS inside our White House - make no mistake about it

✐ You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test

✐ I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family

✐ It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it

✐ Free societies are hopeful societies. And free societies will be allies against these hateful few who have no conscience, who kill at the whim of a hat

✐ I've been in the Bible everyday since I've been the president

✐ You work three jobs? ... Uniquely American, isn't it? I mean, that is fantastic that you're doing that (to a divorced mother of three)

✐ I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe -- I believe what is right

And proving he really hasn't quite grasped the art of making bold statements in public over the whole eight years he has been in power (the following was said just a week ago on 12th January):

✐ I'm telling you there's an enemy that would like to attack America, Americans, again. There just is. That's the reality of the world. And I wish him all the very best

Happy 'Blue' Monday, y'all!

PS I know we had a youtube video clip on Friday's posting, but I can't resist this little one while we're on the subject of George W Bush (and the inherent ridiculing which said subject evokes) - take note, Barack: get lessons in as many forms of global dance as you can, as soon as you can! Possibly after you've solved the world economic crisis, shut down Guantanamo and moved your smalls into The Residence, though.

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All good things must come to an end

I knew it was too good to last. Stupid Starworld channel. How dare they mess with my television viewing - do they not know the impact it's likely to have on this sad, pathetic English girl in Hong Kong??

If you're wondering what on earth I'm wiffling on about - I don't blame you. I'm just having trouble forming coherent sentences at present. Mainly due to the short-sightedness of the stupid channel that is Starworld.

Calm, calm. Deep breath.

Regular readers will remember my lamenting and general grousing over the frankly abysmal quality and variety of television programmes/channels here in Honkers. And yes I know, much like the guy who poorly reviewed a hotel in New York that Helen and I were about to check into for not having sufficient movie channels, I'm in Hong Kong and TV shouldn't be my major priority. Well it's not. Honestly, it's not - but you can't actually go out every day and just wander around just because you're in another country - that's what you do on a week's holiday, not when you're around for an extended period of time - it eventually gets expensive because you have to eat and drink, and pay for things to make the wandering more interesting!

So, it is with a heavy heart that I bring it to your attention: the Ellen DeGeneres show has been taken off the air here. I'm thinking of setting up a Facebook support group so that I can join with other people who are similarly traumatised. 2pm (HK time) won't be the same.

On the plus side, that's an extra hour that I can devote to my new 'be more focused' plan for 2009 and I might regain a shred of credibility from you, good readers, for not watching such a piece of broadcasting. I am also in a good mood today (despite the above; I discovered it yesterday but thought it was more of a Friday topic of discussion, so have made my peace already) because it's the weekend which means non-stop Packer/Pies time and tonight we're being cooked for by Xavier and Emma (always exciting when one doesn't have to make one's own dinner!)

Also, though not sure how much coverage this will have been given in the UK, but a flight containing 153 people emergency-landed in the Hudson River (in New York) last night and somehow everyone on board survived, despite it being pretty bloody chilly in the water. I know I'm a sap, but things like that always make me happy - it's nice to get some good news every now and again.

So anyway, in tribute to my dearly departed friend Ellen (just off the air, she's not dead or anything), and because it's a Friday, here's a clip that makes me laugh quite a lot. It may not seem that interesting, but I'd advise you to hang on till 2 minutes 34 if you can.

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Let's talk about feelings

Every now and again, partly because I'm nosy, partly because I'm bored, but most importantly, so I can improve the blog for you, dear readers, I take a trip around 'blogland' to see what other people are rambling about and how they style their pages.

So, inspired by Wife in the North, I'm aiming to make this blog contain more thoughts, feelings and musings about moving to and living in HK, rather than just stuff that takes place.

In that vein, I'm feeling (ah, you see, I'm already getting the hang of it) good today. I have done a monster heap of ironing and I am now surveying proudly the fruits of my labour. In case you're wondering, that's nine shirts (men's shirts so therefore lots of material), six t-shirts (also men's so same applies) and a pashmina (mine, funnily enough). Think that's earned my keep for the day.

I'm also beginning to get back into both this blog (that's kind of stating the obvious, I know) and garnering some motivation for my writing course by revisiting my research and analysing the magazines I brought back from England after Christmas. Both of these are no doubt helped by the fact that I'm a) back in Honkers and b) visitor-free, which I haven't been for the last week and a half. (Though please don't get me wrong, I really enjoy having people to stay and am looking forward to many more - I am just lacking in iron-cast concentration, meaning that I get very easily distracted and then it takes an age to get back to business.)

So, the new year's resolution (and yes, there's only one - I generally turn my nose up to making any, so be grateful for what you're given!) is to try and focus more. I need to do something (anything!) writing-related every day, thus enabling the creative juices to flow continually. Here's a crackingly cheesy metaphor: it's like that game Marble Run, where you had to connect bits of plastic together so the marble has somewhere to go - my writing something every day is like putting the next bit of plastic in place so my creativity (the marble, if you will) doesn't fall on the floor. Oh, with writing devices like that, I can conquer the world!

Also since yesterday, I have been introduced (shout out to the Pies for this one) to Alright Tit - a blog written by a girl who discovered she had breast cancer last summer, at the age of twenty-eight. Hmm, that sounds like a laugh a minute Packer, I hear you say; I also realise I am somewhat behind the 8-ball as Stephen Fry has already 'twittered' about this blog and there has been a veritable stampede in its direction, BUT, it's actually very funny. So when you're having your next "man, I'm bored and it's only 9:05am - could anything have changed on Facebook since I looked 180 seconds ago" moment, give the Tit blog a read instead.

PS Apologies to those of you tuning in specially for my educating session today on the Chinese New Year, complete with fashion tips, party ideas and historical tidbits. I started to look into this crazy phenomenon and discovered it's a lot more complicated than I thought, hence will take much longer than I anticipated to give you the posting you deserve. It officially starts on 26th January, so I have just over 10 days to get something sensational together - to use a cliche, watch this space.

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Brrr....it's cold out here!

Ah, remember the good old days back in June of last year when we first arrived in HK, and it was so hot and humid that I was sweating in places I had never thought twas possible to sweat? (e.g. who knew that the front of your knees could get moist??!) All I hankered after in those balmy days was a bit of chilliness; some weather that wouldn't make me want to risk arrest by going outside in my underwear.

Well chaps, my hankering paid off. We are officially experiencing a 'cold snap' just south of the Tropic of Cancer. Having been back in England recently, I was quite looking forward to touching back down in Honkers and its warmth, so much so that I left behind both my coat and a fluffy jumper - to free up suitcase space and to lessen my annoyance (I always end up carrying my coat rather than wearing it for some reason). Oh, what folly that was.

For the last 10 days, the HK Observatory (the same bods who issue the typhoon warnings that I so comprehensively explained previously on this blog - I know you've all memorised those) has been telling us that it's forecasting cold weather and displaying either the Cold, or the Very Cold Weather Warning. The advice in these arctic times is "to put on warm clothes and to avoid adverse health effects due to the cold weather." Additionally, "if you must go out, please avoid prolonged exposure to wintry winds" and "don't light fires indoors." Oh rubbish. That was the first thing that occurred to me in my attempts to keep warm.

Now, I realise this post would have had a lot more impact if it wasn't currently minus five in some parts of England, but believe me people when I say 12-15 degrees celsius is COLD in Hong Kong!!

Mind you, to see the natives, you'd actually think we were experiencing proper penguin-friendly weather - they are wrapped up in woolly hats, scarves, gloves, furry boots and Captain Scott-esque parkas, whereas I am actually coldest when indoors - there's no heating and the wind whistles menacingly through the air con vents, because they don't close. I demand a refund! Nobody told me the Far East gets cold!

As an aside, apparently in India, they've been having to give regular hot-oil massages to the elephants to keep them warm in the intense cold currently gripping the country. Poor Dumbo and his chums.

On a more positive note though, it is approaching the Lunar (Chinese) New Year, so the air is ripe with anticipation and festivities will ensue. Not entirely sure what form they will take at this point, so I shall do a bit of research and get back to you tomorrow.

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